Twin Sister
by Githoniel
Summary: UPDATED AND EDITED! yet not done... still lack of central plot that i had at first but forgot due to temporary amnesia, but things are starting to fit together better
1. prolouge: sister? what sister?

DISCLAIMER: I do not own artemis fowl, juliet, or butler, or anyone else for that matter. I own myself to a point. The rest of me is owned by someone else, in a big plan to comprehend human beings by a great creator that did a sloppy job in making the world in only six days. And he slept on the seventh, the lazy know it all…

this being my first fanfic I have ever written, and being that I have no damn idea what I'm doing, bear with me. It's going to be "Drama-R-Us", because I am not a comedian. The best joke I ever made was to a walrus in the Washington zoo. I am that pitiful. Pity me.

TIMELINE: this fanfic takes place 8 mos. after the mind-wipe, and 2 mos. after mulch reminds him of the fairys. I'm not putting that in here, because I don't wanna. I'll figure it out later…

* * *

**Prologue**

Artemis was up in the attic of his manor, going over some old computer disks of his father's. Butler was sitting right behind him, reading the newest edition of Guns and Ammo, one of his favorite magazines. The thirteen year old genius was completely absorbed in a file that he had found on one of the old disks. Suddenly, he sat up, pushed in the keyboard, and spun in his chair.

"Butler," began the youth, "You were there when I was born, weren't you?"

Butler furled his brow. "Yes sir, I was there," Butler answered, unsure of where this conversation was headed.

"Tell me, my old friend, was I alone?"

Butler looked a little uncomfortable. Artemis had never talked to anyone on the concept of birth, let alone his. What had he found?

"No sir," he answered, choosing his words carefully. "I, your mother, and the doctors were with you."

"Nobody my age at the time?"

Butler shifted in his seat, only his brow showing how truly flummoxed he really was. "Artemis? What have you found?"

Artemis stood up, and took a deep, yet shaking breath before he began. God, this was going to be so hard. Why did it have to be him?

"Who is my sister, Butler? How come I've never heard of her? Why have I always thought I was an only child, the only child, the last generation of Fowl so far, when I was a twin? I was a TWIN!" He slammed his fist onto the table, enraged. He took a trembling breath, and in a quiet voice, almost inaudible, he whispered, "Why didn't you tell me, Butler?"

Butler sighed, but only slightly. He sat Artemis down and knelt in front of him, taking his hands in his own.

"Your father wanted a boy, so he would carry out the name of Fowl. When your mother had a girl also, your father forced her to put the girl up for adoption. I never told you out of respect for your parents' wishes. I am sorry, Artemis."

Artemis looked startled. "Was he that power crazed?" he whispered. He could not imagine how horrible his father would be, to not let his own son know his history, and not letting his daughter be his daughter any more. Didn't he care? Didn't he want to help his son?

"Unfortunately, he was that power crazed," Butler answered. He felt bad ruining his friend's image of his own father, but he had to know, now. The cat was out of the wet paper bag.

"What was her name?"

Butler smiled gently, his cold black eyes softening. "Emily. Her name is Emily. However, she is now Emily Grittins. She was adopted by a family in America. I'm not exactly sure where…"

"Does she know who I am? I have to find her, Butler, I have to." Artemis was starting to tear against his will. What the hell had happened? How could he not have known? How could he have gotten through all these years not knowing about his own kin? He pushed back at the flood threatening to break loose. A Fowl never cries.

Butler pulled him into an embrace to help soothe his old friend. " I know sir, I know. We'll find her, I swear we will"

"I hope you're right." The ever rebellious tear trickled down the side of his cheek. He quickly wiped it away. "But first we need to contact some people. Mostly short people. Maybe throw a little magic show in," he announced, turning back to his computer

Butler then saw the artemis he never thought he'd ever see. A heart-broken Artemis, a lost Artemis, and a loving Artemis. He let go of him with a heavy heart. It hurt deeply for him to see Artemis like this.

But then he smiled. "I'll go get the limmo to Tara."

* * *

(giggles hysterically) this is turning out to sound like one of my mom's soaps!

Prologue is done! Yay for me! oh, I'm so proud of myself…

um, so here's a note. The next chapter, the first one, is about Emily, the long lost sister. It has no magical stuff in it until… chapter three I think, so just be patient! (dodges flying teacups)

r&r please, and I accept flames too, because it gives me a chance to rant and rave, and I can't do that with my family, or I'll get grounded for a few months. My spell check sux, so please inform me if I have any misspellings in the story. I don't care about the author note shit. Just the story.


	2. Chapter 1: Through the rain

Note: this is three years later! Artemis and his twin, Emily are now seventeen, but Emily's dad still wont' let her get a car, ever since she wrecked her dads…

it hurt XP

* * *

Chapter 1

It was a wet midnight in July, dark (except for the full moon), and three teenagers were braving the dreaded Twenty-seventh street in the rain.

"Come on!" Shouted Kat over the shoes she had slung over her shoulder. "I need to show you guys something!" Her sharp yellow eyes were flashing through her dripping hair. Usually, she had her long, black hair tied back into a pony-tailor, but that night, it was loose, fluttering about her soaked head like little whips as she roller bladed down 27th street. She meowed loudly as she narrowly missed a T-Bird as it raced a motorcycle down the hill.

"Wait up! My feet are killing me!" Called back a soaked Nick, who was struggling with his skateboard. He usually had good control over it, but he was having trouble with all the cracks in the road. Every time he hit one, his board almost flew out from under him. It was actually very comical, to see his brightly colored hat go up, and down, and up, and down again, as he rose and tripped, and rose, and tripped again. He made a really huge splash in one of the puddles. Not to mention, he got wet.

"How do you think I feel?" his girlfriend, Emily asked him as she pulled her mountain bike up beside him, her necklaces swaying with the force of the swing. "You've almost got it good, but this rain isn't helping. My jeans are so soaked that I can barely ride! And this trench coat! I thought it would keep me warm, but it's just weighing me down! Oy, Kat!" She called to her friend as the two lovebirds flopped onto the curb, breathing heavily as they rubbed their aching legs. "Can we take a break? I need to rest."

Kat skated over and skidded to a stop, spraying them with the oily water that was collected in a ditch in the road. "What's wrong?" She teased. "Do the poor, little, helpless kittens not like the rain? Oh, come on! We're almost there! Get up!"

She tried to drag the other two to their feet, with some difficulty, due to the fact that she still had her roller blades on. At last, she flew, meowing and laughing into the ditch, and disturbed the rainbow-colored water collecting in front of the other two. Nick and Emily tut-tutted her as they pulled her up to her feet, and trudged on.

By then, they were thoroughly soaked to the bone marrow. Emily was surprised that none of them caught a deathly disease by that time. But finally they came to...

"The tracks?" Emily wondered out loud in surprise. They came to the bottom of a hill, with a water tunnel going through it. On the top was a big train. Go figure.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Nick asked, "Why are we stopping here? Everyone knows that nobody is to go over those... I mean, what if we get hit?"

"Oh, don't be such a scaredy cat," Kat taunted. "We're not going over them!"

"Then where are we going?" Asked both Nick and Emily in unison.

"You kittens!" Yelled Kat over the thunder, "We're going under them!"

If that didn't surprise them, nothing ever has. Over the tracks is one thing, but Under? Emily had never ever seen anyone go there, except for the drunkards and druggies (doers and dealers) of the town, but there Kat was, trying to drag them under the train tracks. Kat couldn't have surprised her more if there 100 naked men start to dance right in front of her eyes!

Kat sat down to take her blades off and put her shoes on. "All I forgot to get was the 100 naked men!" She teased.

* * *

yea, I know, a little weird, but hey, that's kat for ya…, yes Kat's a real person, and my best friend, and Yes Nick is my boyfriend too. Well, now ex-boyfriend... I just gave him a small cameo that he's not gonna read at all, but that's ok, and this was a day that was sort of real, Kat did show me the tunnel, and we went through it. did I get everything? um... oh yeah. never buy shoes. shoes are evil. if you need shoes, wrap a piece of leather around your foot. or else, there will be a new horizon.

THE SHOE EVENT HORISON! SHOE SHOPS OUTNUMBER ANY OTHER KIND OF SHOP, THE ENTIRE ECONOMY OVERBALANCES, AND IT IS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO BUYS SHOES THAT EITHER ARE COMFORTABLE OR DON'T HURT THE FEET, AND ANY SURVIVORS OF THIS TERRIBLE BLIGHT EVENTUALLY TURN INTO BIRDS, AND VOW NEVER TO PUT THEIR FEET ON THE GROUND AGAIN, AND BINGO, I GET TO PRESS THE BUTTON AGAIN!  
WHEEEEEEE!

um, yeah, sorry... bit of a sugar high...

mmmm, sugar babies... yum

double hearts to anyone who knows what that's from! and Kat, you already have double hearts because i say this all the time, so no, you can't play my fun little sugar game.

hmm, mabie I should start a sugar game, with hearts for prizes. and then I'll post the scores on the notes page! sounds like a plan to me, so new sugar game next chapter!

and you can do that too kat, just not this one, cuz I quote it all the time when we go for walks, so you automatically get double hearts!

r&r please! I love my reviews, and I love my reviewers!


	3. Chapter 2: the time is now

hey, me again... um, so the story so far: artemis finds out he has a twin sister, and my friend Kat is dragging me into a hole. koink-i-dink? I think not…

and remember: THIS IS THREE YEARS AFTER THE PROLOUGE. YOU HEAR ME? THREE STINKIN YEARS!

Chapter Two

Butler was steering the chopper, in the dead of night, while Juliet read the map. He wasn't so sure about this. He knew that this person was his old friend's main priority now, but Butler had never seen Artemis like this. For almost three years now, Artemis had been wandering around Fowl mansion, sometimes so quiet, like a lost soul, trying to find it's way to the next world, but at times he was so loud and obnoxious, breaking things his parents loved. His parents had finally found out what was going on, and tried to explain, but Artemis didn't listen. He hardly even heard himself anymore, let alone others. Sort of like a normal kid...

Juliet had decided to stick around for the sake of Artemis' state of mind. She had figured that it would be safe to tag along. After all, he might need another kid around. She was worried about him. He'd been sulking lately... and he had been really raucous. She had never seen him like this in his life, so why should he start now? And what was going on in that boys little black haird head? Juliet was determined to find out!

Artemis sat at the back of the Chopper, waiting. He remembered his fight with his parents. 'How could they not tell me?' The little voice in his head kept asking it over and over again through his head. He always knew something was missing, but didn't know what. Even Butler had kept it from him! He remembered the way he had stormed around the house, yelling at everyone in sight, hitting anything that got in his way. He felt like a four year old on extacy. He had continued his antics until Angeline had told Butler to take him out of the house for a while to cool down. He chuckled to himself heatedly. Oh, he was out of the house, all right. Out of the house, out of Ireland, and into America.

(A/N: Ok ok, so he's a bit ooc, because I'm trying to mellow him down a bit, give him some shading, and show the inner child he never was. I know, I know, load of bullshit…)

He called to Butler in the Pilot's seat. "Butler?"

"Yes sir?"

"Um, I'm sorry. I've been really... well, like a dog in a manger, really, and I, um... well, I'm sorry." What happened? He had it all figured out in his head, and when the was going to say it, it sounded like shit on ice!

He nearly laughed out loud. His One and Only internet friend had given him that phrase. She said that saying "on ice" afterward makes everything seem worse. Plus it's hilarious. He'd laughed a hell of a lot more than he was used to, anyways. He would play chess with her online. Her pseudonym was Githoniel a rather peculiar name, for an even more peculiar girl, obviously a Lord of the Rings fanatic. She wasn't exactly very good at chess, he usually won in six moves or less. However, she was kind, and understanding, no matter on what they argu about, such as music, psychological concepts, and ideas. He loved her sayings, especially 'Shit on Ice'.

Butler gave the steering stick thingie (there, ya happy now?) to Juliet, and went back to see his employer.

He cuffed his hand on Artemis' shoulder. "Artemis, I understand. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I was acting on orders."

Artemis looked up at the massive man beside him. "I know, Butler, I know. I'm sorry for acting as though someone died and left me supreme ruler of all the troubles of the universe. I've been a sort of dog in a manger. I guess I've been sort of... well, preoccupied with this sister thing... I just... wanted to know."

Butler smiled, a tenderness dancing in the black, and usually cold and merciless eyes of his. "You know, it takes a man to acknowledge that he was wrong. And it takes even more of a man to admit it. You've grown up even more, Artemis."

Artemis looked up with a smile on his face, but tears in his eyes. "I just wish I could grow down again."

Juliet suddenly looked over her shoulder. "Sorry to burst you two's happy little bubble there, but the storm's clearing up. I can see the landing point from here. Butler, you land, I don't wanna. I might crash or something... I never did get my license for this thing…"

Artemis smiled happily, but then changed his expression. Evil people don't smile. They do a sinister face thing, so he did the sinister face thing. The time was now. Now he would meet the person who might be almost exactly like him, Artemis Fowl, the most evil mastermind in the world.

um, ok, a little... weird, but hey... um, does this sound like a soap opera to anyone else? damn, and i hate soap opera's too...

but...

IT'S SUGAR GAME TIME!

ok, so here we go...

today, the quote is:

"He liked animals, especially beetles, if they were dead and pinned on a card. He liked books if they were books of information and had pictures of grain elevators or fat foreign children doing exercises in model schools. He disliked his cousins the four pevensies..."

sorry, can't give you more than that, or it would give it away... guess what series of books it's from and you get a heart. guess what exact book, and you get double hearts. If you give me chapter number, page number, and paragraph number, i'll give you five hearts! guess away!


	4. Chapter 3: through the tunnel

I got a new story onto fanfic. It's about the Lord of the rings. It's called the Sentence Game. Go read it. It's good.

This chapter deals with me and Kat and Nick, and some magic things happen in this chapter. and please excuse me for not knowing a damn thing about helicopters. Well, here you go, chapter 3, r&r please!

Chapter 3

Emily blankly stared at Kat, frowning. She had been doing that a lot lately, anticipating what she was thinking.

Nick just laughed. "What do you need a hundred naked men for? You've got me! Hey, where do we put our stuff?"

Kat pointed through the downpour. "Over there, in the tall grass. Nobody's mowed that stuff in ages."

When they walked over through the mud, They saw that she was right. The wet grass was gently tickling their jeans in the upper thigh region. They quickly laid down their equipment and walked over to the tunnel.

But suddenly, Emily heard something over the roar of the rain. She looked up, and saw a helicopter overhead. "Chopper!" she yelled, and quickly wished that she could have more adventure in her life. It was a tradition between her and her friends, that whoever wished on a helicopter first before it landed, that the wish would come true.

Nick and Emily sat down, and began to take off their shoes. They tied the laces together, and slung them across their necks. Emily then stepped into the rising, murky water, and froze.

IT WAS SO FLIPPING COLD!

If she thought she was freezing before, it was nothing compared to how she felt now. It went up to her knees, freezing her, down into her shoes, soaking her already soaked socks. She was going to KILL Kat!

However, Kat was already at the mouth of the tunnel, the tips of her long, black hair grazing the water. It was up to the middle of her thighs, and she was walking through it as if she were on land. She laughed as Nick and Emily entered the swirling river. "What, is it too cold for you kittens?"

Emily just growled, and Kat literally ran to the other side of the tunnel. She made it out while Nick and Emily were stumbling, only halfway through the huge, damp hole in the hill. Emily was silently grumbling to herself about the trench coat, when, suddenly, behind her, she heard a big splash. Because of her freaky paranoia, Emily thought someone was after her, and she turned around, and saw...

Nick. He had slipped and fallen into the water. Emily helped him back on to his feet, and they started off again.

When they got to the other side, Emily was relieved to see that the sky had cleared up considerably. She could see the moon and stars from where she was. It was a full moon, a beautiful moon. Kat was already on the other bank, dripping wet. She was lying in between the roots of the old Oak tree by the bend in the river, playing with some acorns, looking at which was the best looking one. Kat had always been fascinated by an oak's acorns, ever since she had come to the little suburban town, almost five years ago.

Emily then took a moment to look around, and gasped at the beauty that lay before them. A wood, wonderful and green, stood before them. Not untouched, she thought, seeing the Four-Wheeler's tracks, but still the most handsome thing that she had ever seen.

She started to run toward the bank, and stopped dead.

Pain seared through her foot, and she screamed, alerting Kat, who jumped up. Emily looked down, and saw that the murky brown water was turning red around her. Nick quickly ran up to her, picked her up, and carried her over to the bank. She then saw what had really happened, and was immediately sick, adding more colors to the swirling waters.

A piece of a broken bottle had lodged itself through the flesh, piercing her foot, and came out on the other side. Blood poured from her foot, and smeared all over the still wet ground. Emily couldn't bear the pain, so she reached over to her foot, grabbed the glass, and pulled it out. She screamed again, and Nick drew her close, as she started to sob, her foot bleeding freely.

Kat looked confused, but as she looked at something that she held in one of her hands, her face then drew itself uptight, and she ran off into the woods.

Nick called after her, but he stayed with Emily. He took his white shirt off from under his ski jacket, and wrapped it around Emily's foot, unfortunately making her sick again. He then moved around to her back, and pulled her gently toward him, until her black haired head rested on his bare, muscular shoulder, arms encircling her black clad shoulders, comforting her as she cried.

Kat then reappeared, a smile on her face and her yellow eyes gleaming. She reached down, despite the protests of Nick, and tore the shirt off Emily's foot, making her scream. She placed her hands on the open wound, and made a face that made her look constipated. Suddenly, blue sparks appeared, and traveled down her arms, and toward the foot. Emily shrieked, and tried to get away, but couldn't move. Every time she did, the pain was almost unbearable. Nick jumped up, and started for Kat, but froze, and watched, fascinated, as Emily's wound began to heal.

The blue sparks began to twirl about the gash, and sink in, and heal it. There was no more pain in it, and it looked as if it hadn't been there at all. However, the sparks didn't stop there. They traveled up her arms and her chest to old scars, made by humans, not glass. The sparks healed them all, but left scars. Despite that, Emily was overjoyed.

Nick was not so pleased. "You're a witch! a Bloody WITCH!" And with that, he ran off.

Emily stood up. "Kat? What the hell was that?"

Kat didn't meet her eyes. "Never mind, I'll explain later. You just come with me."

She lead Emily through the beauty of the wood by way of the Four- Wheeler paths, and dragged her into a field, strewn with flowers, gleaming in the moonlight. Perched in the middle of the field was a huge chopper, the one that they had seen earlier. Three people were standing about it. One was about Emily's size, dressed up as if for a business meeting, one was a little taller, and looked a little fiercer, more street punky, and the other looked like a giant ape in a suit and tie. She couldn't make out their faces yet, but Emily was sure that she didn't know them. Neither did they seem to know the girls, for the Tall one called out to them.

"Are you armed?" the big husky voice drifted over to them. He sounded a little foreign.

"Does funky knives and things count?" Emily called back.

Kat quickly told her to hush, and then Emily told her to shut up, because she wasn't her mom. Then she looked over at the small one again.

He had black hair, almost the same shade as Emily's He looked about the same height, but it was hard to tell from so far away. Kat called to her, jerking her out of her daze, and beckoned to her, starting off toward the three people. Emily followed a bit reluctantly. She did not want to meet these strange new people. They looked a little sneaky to her.

She finally caught up to Kat, and looked at the people from the chopper up close. The huge one looked larger than should be allowed. His mammoth hands looked slightly homicidal. The middle-sized one looked like she could have been on the AAHS wrestling team, if only she went there.

Then Emily looked at the boy, and stopped dead.

'Mirror,' she thought, gripping the sides of her trench coat to her sides 'I'm looking in a fucking mirror.' The black hair was the exact same shade, the face had the same bone structure, and as she looked into his eyes, they took on a recognition that she could not stomach. His Deep blue eyes gazed into her own Icy blue eyes, and she began to realize why she had always felt alone, never a part of anything, and it was because she had been missing a part.

Kat looked at her, and smiled, her yellow cat eyes dancing. "Emily, meet your twin brother, Artemis Fowl."

Yay for cliff hangers!

and now, meet your host, Githoniel, because it's time for,

THE SUGAR GAME!

YAY!

um... yeah. so, here's this chapter's quote:

"My dearest child,

"The Garnet Ring that accompanies this Letter has been in our Family for a great many Generations and is always..." Did it say gassed? No, "passed on to a Blood descendant. There is only one condition as to Who may inherit: It must be worn on the Third Finger of the right Hand and it must fit perfectly. It must never be Altered, neither made larger nor smaller.

"The Ring was given to me by my Grandmother, as it was too..." Snail? No... "Small for my Mother's Hand. And I Give it to you, as it was too large for both my Daughter and my Granddaughter. We have met Only once..."

When? I wondered. I didn't remember meeting her at all. I must have been just a baby.

"...under Trying circumstances, but I Trust that you shall grow to be more Worthy of the Powers.  
"Take Special Care with this Ring..." That was where I'd stopped reading before. I still felt kind of annoyed about that "grow to be more worthy" comment. What did I do as a baby, spit up on her or something? But even so, I was dumb not to have finished reading the letter.

"You will Discover its many Wonders yourself, as that is part of the joy in it's ownership. But..." I couldn't make out the word Was it "heed" or "read me well"? Oh well, same thing. "You must never confide it's Secrets, even to Soul mates. Some might Guess, but you must never Utter the words..." Good thing I didn't tell Stephen. "The Power will never Vanish, if you Abide by this law."

Damn, my arms are getting tired... ok, so five hearts to anyone who even knows what series it's from or any closer to what it is. it's a whole page... damn...

r&r...


	5. Chapter 4: two of a kind

Yay! I got more reviewers! I love all my lovely reviewers! And Kat, thanks for the review. Calm down, and I'll get you a Snickers bar later.

Kat: Oooh, gimmie! Gimmie candy bar now!

Me: holds it out of her reach will you promise to be good?

Kat: Yessss, we promissssesssss, no - I promissse. I promisssssessss to ssserve the Missssstressss of the Ssssssnickerssssss!

Me: lowers it down slowly

Kat: grabs it and smacks it against a stone, and starts chowing down without removing the paper (singing) the rock and pool, is nice and cool, so juicy SWEEEEEEEEEEEEET!

Me, and I'm sure everyone else: Oo

Ok, so, thanks reviewers, and have a great day!

Oh, and here's something that I've been forgetting a lot lately: Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not even my own mind. That has been copyrighted by Kat and Co.. I think...

Chapter Four

Artemis blinked as he stepped out of the helicopter onto the large field, and winced. Well, the storm had stopped, but it was still wet. And why did the moon have to shine so brightly tonight?

Butler quickly got out, checked the perimeters, and came back. "Well, Artemis," he said, "no sign of them yet."

"They'll be here soon," Artemis replied, trying to convince himself, more than anyone else. He had worn his best suit for the occasion: dark tan, with a red handkerchief in the breast pocket. His penny loafers were starting to get dirty from the mud of the field.

'Where are they?' He asked himself silently, and hoped to God that it wasn't a mistake. He had spent too much time and planning for a mess-up now. Besides, he had practically ruined his reputation back home, what would everyone say, once they had discovered that the infamous Artemis Fowl II had made the biggest mess-up in his career?

But then, Juliet came out, and pointed. "Look! I think that that's them!"

Two figures were coming out of the wood bordering the field, but then they stopped.

Butler couldn't help himself. It might be a trap. Hadn't Artemis thought of that? "Are you armed?" he called out.

"Does funky knives and things count?" The answer came floating back over the field, from the girl with the trench coat. She looked as if she was being reprimanded by the other girl. Butler wasn't convinced, but Artemis cheered up considerably. Black hair? Check. Love of Ancient ways of killing instead of modern machinery? a perhapsady check. Hmm, can there be a connection here? He hoped so. He loved to say "I told you so!" It was just so much fun.

The girls hurried over, across the muddy field. One of them had long black hair, and the other brown, but he could figure out which one was Emily anyway. She had the exact same bone structure, and the exact same shade of black hair. She had seen more sun than he had, so she was a bit darker, but the resemblance was startling. She wore blue jeans, and a red and white striped turtleneck with a black "Linkin Park" tee shirt over it, and a flowing black trench coat. Sort of scrappy next to his best suit, but then again, she didn't know what was going on.

He gazed deeply into her icy blue eyes, and she into his deep blue eyes.

Instantly, he could see that she knew her life would soon be changing. He smiled. She looked so beautiful by the light of the full moon.

The other girl stood there and watched them. She was obviously their fairy. He could tell by her eyes, the way that they danced and looked like a feline's. Just as she said that they would. "Emily," she said, "meet your twin brother, Artemis fowl."

Emily nearly died when she heard Kat say that. Twin brother? How could she have had a twin brother and not know?

She turned to Kat, but stopped. Kat was beginning to rapidly change in front of her. Suddenly, a black panther stood before her, and then into a brown haired, brown skinned imp, covered in what appeared to be blood, and then back into the Kat that she always had thought she had known.

Everyone, except the boy said to be her brother, was absolutely stunned by the sight. He laughed. "That will do. I think you've scared everyone else here. Your payment, in full." He handed over a thick wad of Fifty dollar bills.

Kat laughed. It was not a happy laugh. It was the kind of laugh you make when someone is tricking you out of something, and you don't like it. She took the money, and looked at the boy, said to be Emily's twin. "Oh, no, Fowl. I'm planning to come with you. After all, this young Fowl needs a Butler."

"And if I'm not incorrect," she continued, looking over to juliet, "If I'm not incorrect, This one here," she went over to Juliet, and stroked her cheek, "was the last one at the Lodge. And she has Mrs. Fowl to look after. Oh, what a pity."

Butler put his hand on his Employer's shoulder. "Artemis, I'm not sure."

Kat laughed evilly, and suddenly, she turned into a dark red - um... demon? - and started to form bright red balls in her fists. Emily remembered her and Nick joking around about fireballs, so she guessed that was what it was.

"Seriously, do you know what I can do to you if you do not let me come? Surely..."

But then Emily finally gained her voice back, and whispered, "Let her come."

Everyone stopped, and turned toward her. "What did you say?" breathed Kat.

Emily then cleared her throat, and said louder, "Let her come. I'd rather have someone there that I think I can trust, wherever 'there' may be. Let her come."

The punky girl chuckled and whispered to the Big guy, "Humph... she talks like a fowl already..."

Emily frowned at this statement. "I'm not a bird."

The boy laughed at this, and said, "Of course not. I am Artemis Fowl, and you, my fine lady, are my twin sister. Emily Fowl." He then turned toward Kat, who had turned herself back into the human that Emily knew, and he asked, "And just what are you going to disguise yourself as?"

Kat then morphed again. She kept her Kat's catish characteristics, but got some others, such as slightly flatter nose, bigger muscles, and darker hair.

She said, "I'm going to be her... um, butler. Kat Butler. I have the training, I just didn't get it at the same place... So lets be off before it's too late.

And with that, they all piled into the Fowl Helicopter, and took off.

end

Yay! Funness!

ok, now for the sugar game!

um, look at the top. no, not of the story, of the VERY top. If you can guess what movie Kat got that from, you get one heart. If you get the character who says it, you get two!

oh, and review! I love you all, so I'll be a suckup to get reviews! Review, please please pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, I'll love you forever, and ever, and ever!

god, I don't even know what I'm typing anymore! I need serious mental help! and ideas to stop the stupid mental breakdowns will be cool! (not to mention well appreciated!)

I love you all, please review!


	6. Chapter 5: of fairys and tales

Yay for updates!

Chapter Five

As they all climbed into the helicopter, Kat whispered in Emily's ear, "You know, I could have managed to be able to come without your help."

Emily snorted. "Um, yeah. By turning into a big giant freak that makes fireballs? Yeah. Real mature..."

"It's called a goblin."

"Yeah, whatever…"

They found their seats in the helicopter, and sat down, preparing for a long journey.

Emily sat between Kat (who sat on the end), and Artemis, who was receiving approving looks from Butler. She looked at the floor and said to no one in particular, "You know, I'm hoping this ride will explain everything that's been going on. Start talking, now."

Kat turned toward Emily, and explained everything that had gone on for the past twenty years in twenty seconds, faster than a blur, until Emily put a hand on Kat's mouth, signaling to shut up, and requested it slower.

Kat started. "Um, OK. So, here's a timeline for you. Seventeen years ago, a woman gave birth to twins, and gave one up for adoption. Twelve years later, an escaped prisoner moved to a big city called Altoona, where that twin happened to be living. Two years later, the other twin finds the prisoner, and hires her to befriend the adopted twin. Three years later, the prisoner drags the adoptee out of her house and to a landing point in the woods. End of timeline."

Emily stared at her. "So he's my twin?" They nodded. "Um, and you're an escaped prisoner... um, where did you escape from, and what were you charged with?"

Kat's smile grew very wide. "I'm what you can call a chameleon fairy. I can shu... snu... shni... shoe sniff? no, that's not it... um, shape- shift! there we go! So, I used to live underground, but I became a prisoner, and I escaped, and came to live with the humans."

Emily's brow furled. "What was your crime?"

Kat sort of shrunk in her seat. "Identity theft and murder."

Butler turned around. "Murder!" he screamed. "Nobody said anything about a murderer!"

Kat blushed up to the roots of her hair. "It was involuntary. I took the form of a mass murderer, and sometimes, I take their minds too, if the person I'm impersonating is dead. I really didn't mean to kill him, but the murderer's brain took control and pushed my mind out of the way. I was locked up in a hi sec prison cell afterward… Oops…"

Artemis stepped in. "Ok, so I think we should sleep now." He handed each of the three of them a pill and a plastic cup of water. "Swallow these, and we'll get there faster."

Emily took the pill easily without the water, and instantly felt woozy. She fell asleep in her seat, surrounded by two people - one that made a difference in her life, and one that was going to make a difference.

ooh, copter ride... funness

yeah, short chapter, longer one next time

sugar game time!

I paused at the doorway. "Mr. Fisk," I whispered.  
He straightened up, turned, saw me. I had, at least, the satisfaction of his surprise.  
"I've come," I managed to say, "To be one of the crew.  
For a second time I stood in the forecastle. The room was as dark and mean as when I'd first seen it. Now, however, I stood as a petitioner in sailor's garb. A glum Fisk was at my side. It hadn't been easy to convince him I was in earnest about becoming one of the crew. Even when he begrudged a willingness to believe in my sincerity he warned that agreement from the rest of the men would be improbable. He insisted that I lay the matter before them immediately.  
So it was that three men from Mr. Hollybrass's watch, Grimes, Dillingham and Goley, were the next to hear my plea. As Fisk had foretold, they were contemplating me and my proposal with very little evidence of favor.  
"I do mean it," I said, finding boldness with repetition, "I want to be the replacement for Mr. Johnson."  
"You're a girl," Dillingham spat out contemptuously.  
"A pretty girl," Foley put in. It was not meant as a compliment. "Takes more than canvas britches to hide that."  
"And a gentlewoman," was Grimes's addition, as though that was the final evidence of my essential uselessness.  
"I want to show that I stand with you," I pleaded. "That I made a mistake."  
"A mistake?" Foley snapped. "Two able-bodied men have died!"  
"Besides," Dillingham agreed, "you'll bring more trouble than good."  
"You can teach me," I offered.  
"God's fist," Grimes cried. "She thinks this a school!"  
"And the captain," Foley asked. "What'll he say?"  
"He wants nothing to do with me," I replied.

that's it! five hearts if you can get the name of the book!

r&r!


	7. Chapter 6: Kataluna has escaped!

WHY'S NOBODY PLAYING MY SUGAR GAME?

wheee! going underground now! alli hoop

Chapter 6

Holly groaned. "Her? Not again!"

Root was pale. The normal greenish-red tint was out of his face. "I'm afraid, yes, again..." he responded. He turned to his intercom, and pressed a button. "Hey, Foaly, get your little tail the hell in here, pronto!" he yelled.

A minute later, Foaly, his tin-foil helmet firmly in place, came into the Commander's office at a trot, and stopped dead. Everyone seemed to be sulking in here. Also, Root didn't seem his normal self. He looked sort of cold and clammy. Maybe he just needed a cup of hot tea. Or a puff on his mushroom cigar. Yes, that would be it. Well, it's not as if he could know anything... yet... ok, smile, and try to say something that is the least bit intelligent...

"Hey, Julius, whazzup?"... um, not exactly what he had in mind...  
Root looked up at Foaly. The only way you could see that he was thoroughly pissed was by looking into the flame that was burning steadily in his eyes. "Do you know what the hell has happened?" he whispered.

Foaly winced. D'arvit. He knew. It would be better if he yelled. The calmness in his voice was slightly disconcerting.

The commander continued. "The council has poured tons of gold into the building of the high security cells. You check her cell every five years, EVERY FIVE YEARS! And now, She has escaped. Kataluna has escaped!" Root's voice was growing with every word, until the glow cube on the desk had started to sputter, and went out.

Through the dark, Root continued, starting at a whisper again. "So now she's gone. We have a transforming identity thief and mass murderer on the loose. And you just checked her high-security cell yesterday. When were you planing to tell me? In another FIVE YEARS?"

Foaly bowed his head. He really didn't know what to say. It wasn't often you see the commander like this. Hell, he barely saw Julius, ever since that last extravaganza with the young prodigy, the Fowl character.

Root then stood up, and stepped around his desk. He reached for the glow cube, and wrapped his bony hands around it. He concentrated on making it glow, and it started to reflect his mood, a dark, mysterious blue. "However," he said, "you are not the only one who is to blame."

He closed his eyes. D'arvit, this was going to be hard.

"I, also am to blame. I admit to an extreme folly, which could cost us dearly." His voice started to crack, and a tear had formed upon his cheek. "I admit that I didn't exactly follow the law. I went in to her cell a week after she was checked. Unfortunately, she took that as a cue to take off."

Holly furled her brow. "What were you even doing in there anyway?"

Root sighed even heavier (if that's still possible), and said "She was my girlfriend."

ooh, Kat, you naughty girl! you need to be penaltised for your humungus stupidity! I know you like Root, but Dating him? that's out of the question!

ok, now sugar game time!

Their ways prosper at all times;  
your judgments are on high, out  
of their sight;  
as for their foes, they scoff at  
them. They think in their heart, "We  
shall not be moved;  
throughout all generations we  
shall not meet adversity."

ok, guess what book, one point guess what chapter, two points guess what verses, three points

s


	8. Chapter 7: i'm awake!

Chapter 7

* * *

Around noon, Emily stirred. 'No,' she thought, 'I don't want to wake up! It was such a wonderful dream. I was going to live in a palace with a twin brother. Please don't let it all be a dream!' 

She forced herself to open her eyes, only to close them again in shock.

She was sleeping in a tapestry 'princess' bed in the middle of a room that was so big, you could build a condo in it.

Emily stood up to find herself in a nightgown that was more gown than night.

'ugh…' she thought, 'get me out of this thing!' She walked over to what she thought was a closet, but when she opened it, she found a huge bathroom. The full impact that the pink, marble, and the ivory had on her was enough to knock someone off their feet.

There were rose petals everywhere, an ivory toilet on her right, a shower with a rose print on the pink marble walls, and an ivory vanity with a sink, and an ivory bath that was more like a miniature swimming pool than bath.

Once she had gotten over the shock, she closed the door, and went to the next one. When she opened it, and found it stock full of dress-suits, she almost had a fit.

'Don't these people have any taste?' she silently fumed. She then went to the cabinet dresser in the corner, and finally found the clothes that she had worn yesterday, washed, dried, and pressed. She slipped them on, and left the room.

In the hall, she found many portraits of men and women with black hair glaring down at her from every wall. Placed at odd angles were cameras, staring sleeplessly at her, watching her every move.

As she walked down the hall, passing the every odd suit of armor or arm chair, the paintings and the people in them began to look more modern, until she came to the painting at the end of the hall.

Emily stared in disbelief. If she had worn a suit and tie, and her hair was shorter, she could have sworn that it was a mirror. Then the corners of her mouth began to twitch, and she burst into laughter, glad that it wasn't a dream after all.

The boy in the painting looked around her age, and he was staring at her in a face that was supposed to be dark and glaring, but the painter had taken a humor, and had the corners of his mouth betray the smile that was hidden within. She loved the way that the painter had made the boy's eyes dance with sparkles in the reflections.

The background of the painting was horrifying. It was a barren wasteland, cracks running along the ground, hot, molten lava spilling across in rivers, creatures crawling out of the cracks of the earth, their indescribable flesh falling off their rotting, burning, corpses of bodys, mountains and erupting volcanoes surrounding the area of destruction, and the smoke parting just enough to show a full moon.

Full moon. Those two words made her shudder. In her dream - no, it wasn't a dream. This painting was proof enough for that. But she knew that she had been abducted by a full moon.

That made her think of Kat. What was it about her? Oh yes! Happy Transformer Lady with the murder charges. Lucky day. She then turned down the corridor, and tried to find a person to help her.

* * *

Well, that sucked for a few dozen months of planning… help! I sorta lost my plot! 

SUGAR GAME

* * *

"In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit."

* * *

This one's easy. Get the book, one point. Get the chapter, two points. Get the sentence, five points. As a catchup for all of you laggers. 


	9. Chapter 8: confrontation

YAY! I UPDATED! AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME?

Chapter 8

Emily finally, after much searching for life in this supposed castle, found people.

There were two couches and four armchairs surrounding a huge oak table. A blonde haired woman was sitting primly on one of the couches, watching a boy and a man engage themselves in a heated battle of 3D chess.

Nobody noticed her, until she came up, flopped on the other couch, and said, "Hey, what's up?"

The reaction was not as she expected. The woman screamed, dropping the cup, and ran to the man, who stood up yelling, "Who the _hell_ are you and WHAT DO YOU WANT?" The three Butlers came flying into the room, guns drawn. Emily jumped to her feet, her hands in the air.

Artemis looked up from his game to Emily, and turned back.

"Welcome Home, Emily," he said, and moved a piece. "Check."

Everyone in the room froze. Angeline collapsed onto the couch. She held her hand to her head in disbelief. "Emily…"

The Butlers holstered their guns and stood against the wall, but the man stood rigid.

"Emily?" His words cut the silence. Emily slowly put her hands down, looking around nervously. "Emily Who?" he asked her.

"Well," she began, reclaiming her position on the couch, "I _thought_ I was Emily Grint, until I was dragged on a midnight bike-ride to meet my twin brother, and find out that I am a Fowl, which in its own way is sorta cool… What?" she asked, suddenly conscious that the adults were staring at her strangely.

"NO!" exclaimed Angeline, as she stood up sharply, "I _refuse_ to believe that that… _thing_ is my daughter!"

"Well, guess what, _Ma_," Emily spat out the word as if it were a disgusting taste on her tongue. She stood up on the table, and whipped out a small dagger from her trench coat. "This is what happens to people when they are sent to live in abusive one-parent homes. We become _things!_" She threw the dagger into a portrait of a woman hanging above the mantle, piercing her torso.

"We are no longer considered worthy to be people."

With that, she stormed off down the hall, cased closely by Kat.

Artemis stood up from his game. "Well…" he said, "Nice going." And with that last stinging remark, he left and followed the girls.

YAY! That turned out well! I didn't expect it to, after the last one…

new sugar game! This one should be easy, unless you are a complete idiot…

The prophecies of ohm phlegm pot cleaner to frond elfen king. I am ohm phlegm pot cleaner to the king. But I am much more than that for I see the future written in the phlegm. For centuries we pixies have read the phlegm but I am the best there has ever been. My visions are generally of little importance. I foretell outbreaks of troll pox or gas spasms among elderly dwarfs. But sometimes even a poor pot cleaner can see wondrous thing. A vision came to me two moons ago when I was gazing deep into his magestys own phlegm pot. I was heating the pot over a flame when the sign appeared. This vision was more vivid and detailed than any I had previously seen. Because of its importance I decided to write it down for posterity. And so I can say I told you so. I saw an age when the people have been driven underground by the mud men. This is what the phlegm told me. In this time one shall come among us. Fowl by name and foul by nature. A mud man unlike any other. He shall learn our secrets and use them against us. I see him now as plain as day. His face is pale he has dark eyes and raven hair. Yet it must be a mistake for he seems a mere youth. Surely no mud boy could outwit the people. But now I see heat the boy is not alone. He is aided by a formidable warrior scarred from a thousand battles. This fowl shall hold the people to ransom for their most precious possession. Gold. And in spite of all our magic there is a chance that he will prevail. For he has discovered how to escape the time field. Unfortunately how the story ends I cannot say. But there was more to see. There is another story to come. someone will bring the people and mud men together. To worst of both races. This fairys goal is to grind all the creatures of the earth beneath his boot. And who is this traitor it is not clear. But he shall start a war unlike anything the people have ever seen. Those who were enemies shall be united against him. And for the first time there will be mud men below ground. I have one clue as to his identity. A riddle. Goblins shall rise and haven shall fall a villainous elf is behind it all to find the one who so disappoints look ye to where the finger points. Instead of one face this elf has two. Both speak false and none speak true. While publicly he lends a helping hand his true aim is to seize command. I know its not very plain is it I dont understand either. But perhaps in the future all will become clear. Look for a powerhungry elf who has a finger pointed at him during our tale. And so this is ohms legacy. A warning that may save the world from total destruction. Theres not much to work with I know. The details are a bit sketchy. My advice to you is to consult the phlegm. It may be that you are sensitive. I have buried this prophecy with my phlegm pot. If you are not fortunate enough to work as a pot cleaner then there is usually a supply of phlegm every time you have a cold. Here endeth the first prophecies of ohm.

Well, that was easy…

guess which series, you get one point, guess which book and you get three points, guess which pages and you get ten points.


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